


How She Feels (Zexion Version)

by VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend



Series: How She Feels [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend/pseuds/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend
Summary: Amaterasu has finally revealed what was in her heart...the way she felt for a certain four members of the Organization...three of them threw it back in her face. The last has accepted her offer. Now things in The Castle That Never Was will be very different. Follow what happens to her with the Organization member that she has chosen.
Relationships: Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: How She Feels [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641022
Kudos: 2





	1. When You Brought Me Here

**Author's Note:**

> I have all of the chapter to this planned out all I have to do is flesh them out. You will have to give me time as writing is no longer my full time passion anymore. I do love my writing but...well things just don't come to me as easily as they used to. This is a very old version of my writing that I have not bothered to update, so its not my best work. I just decided to move it from another site since I'm Shutting my account down on that one. I will eventually come back and re-write this, but until then please bear with me if this seems a little poorly written. When I first wrote this I was just starting out in my career and didn't exactly grasp the concept of writing too well.  
> Find me @tenshiscientia on tumblr

Amaterasu was up on the top of the Alter of Naught waiting for four members of the Organization that she had called up there. She was severely nervous. She had been in The Castle That Never Was for about a year now and she was having a hard time being there. Even though she had feelings, the men around her did not, and according to them, they would never have them. She was so torn between what she felt though.

Each of the four Organization members that she had called up here had saved her ass at least once on the missions they had went on and she had become attached to them quite a bit. The attachment had grown into something more as time had passed and Amaterasu wasn't sure what to do except tell them. But she had no idea how they would act. She didn't even know if they would understand what she was talking about. As she waited for those four Organization members to join her, Amaterasu walked to the edge of the Alter.

Looking over the edge of it, she watched all of the lights twinkling below her.

 _'Goddess what am I going to do...'_ she thought to herself, _'I don't even know if they will understand what I am telling them. And if they do understand, will they even be able to return what I want to give?'_

Just as Amaterasu turned around, Xemnas was seen coming up the last few steps of the Alter.

"You wanted to see me, Amaterasu?" he asked tilting his head in a way that made Amaterasu's gheart clench.

His hair glinted in the Kingdom Hearts moonlight, perfect and radient as molten silver. HIs sun-set orange eyes glowed like hot coals and sent shivers down her back. His caramel skin looked dark and rich and she wanted to run her hands along it, but she resisted. And his deep voice echoed around them. Amaterasu nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, though there are a couple others that I wanted to talk to as well. So just give it a few more minutes, k?" she smiled.

Turning back around she hoped that he didn't see the light blush that tinged her cheeks. If he did, she might be in trouble. A Dark Corridor opened and Saix stepped through. He noticed Xemnas and nodded his head at him.

"Amaterasu, you wished to see me?" he intoned, his voice seemingly unperturbed that he was asked up to the Alter.

"Yes, there are a couple others that I am wanting to talk to and I need them here to do so, so we need to wait." she said without turning around.

She was afraid to turn around. If they saw the look that was on her face right now, they would become concerned and she would never be able to get out what she wanted to say. A few seconds later, another Dark Corridor opened and Zexion walked out and at the same time Marluxia was seen walking up the last few steps of the Alter. At the sounds of their boots, Amaterasu looked over her shoulder and saw that all four of the men that she wanted to talk to were finally present.

_'Okay, you can do this girl, just come out and say what you want to. If they don't know what you are talking about, so what. At least you actually said something, you were able to get your ass up and confess. Unlike your brother, who couldn't confess to the one he loved. You got this._

_They're up here, now just turn around and say it.'_ Amaterasu coached herself in her head.

Turning around, Amaterasu looked at the four Organization members that she had gathered on The Alter of Naught. Xemnas was standing off to the side, closer to one side of the stairs than anything. Saix was on the other side of the stairs. Zexion had drifted to the middle of the Alter, and Marluxia had started to make his way closer to Amaterasu.

"What seems to be troubling you so much that you have asked all of us up here Ami?" Marluxia asked her, bringing an arm around her shoulders.

A light blush pulled itself up onto her cheeks and she pulled away from Marluxia. Shaking her head, she backed away from him.

"What I wanted to say was...Well actually I. Damn it." she muttered.

"Amaterasu, whatever it is, you can tell us. We won't be angry with you. Or has someone hurt you? If someone has hurt you, you need to tell us. We'll make sure they are properly taken care of." Saix said gently, looking up at her with yellow eyes that gleamed with interest.

"No, no one has hurt me. It has to do with you guys. It's...It's just you guys...Ugh, how do I say this..." Amaterasu sighed.

Xemnas stood from where he was sitting and walked over to her. Sliding a finger under her chin, he lifted her face so that she was looking him in the eyes.

"There is nothing you have to worry about. Whatever you have to say, you can say it. No matter what it is, nothing will change." he whispered to her.

Amaterasu pulled away from him.

"That's the problem. What I say will change what happens between all of us. Especially between two of us if that someone decides to accept what I say." she replied, shaking her head.

"What do you mean?" asked Zexion.

"You are all very dear to me, and I care about all of you very deeply. All of the Organization, I care about you. But the four of you, I care about the most. But I have recently come to realize, that it's more than friendship that I feel for the four of you. I don't know if you will understand.

Over time, I've come to find that I like you as more than friends. When I see each of you all day by day, I find that my heart flutters each time I see you. I can't concentrate when I'm on my missions with you. That's why you've had to save me. I'm distracted by you no matter how much I say I'm okay.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel love for each of you. But I can't decide which one of you that I want to be with. Which is why I'm giving you guys the choice of whether or not you would want to share my heart with me. I'm sorry I sound so stupid, I know. But I just had to say something instead of staying quiet.

It was just killing me. If you don't want to do anything about this, we can forget it. But at least tell me that you hear what I'm saying." she said very fast.

Silence settled all around the five of them as they stood upon the Alter. Marluxia pulled himself off the edge of the Alter where he had settled himself and walked over to Amaterasu. Placing a hand on her head he gave her a soft smile.

"We were always friends, but I cannot take our relationship beyond that, my dear. I do enjoy my time with you, but unfortunately, I can do no more than that. It still will be nice to spend time with you. Considering that you know so much about plants, just like I do." he smiled down at her.

Amaterasu returned his smile, nodding her head. Reaching up to her head, she took Marluxia's hand in her own, then pulled the man against her in a tight hug. She was always known for giving hugs even though the other members of the Organization never liked them, they put up with them for her sake. Patting Amaterasu's back, Marluxia waited for her to release him. Once she did, he turned and opened a Dark Corridor and took his leave.

Xemnas walked over and also put his hand on her head and gave her what passed for a smile. He was never able to smile the same way she was, though he tried to mimic the facial expression that Amaterasu so often used. But Amaterasu understood what he was try8ing to do. She smiled in return and reached up for his hand. Knowing what was coming, Xemnas pulled his hand away and nodded his head.

"I believe friendship is best for us too. I have never understood emotions myself, and I don't think it would be fair to try and force a relationship when one of us is not really able to show the emotion that is required to have that relationship. So I think it would be best if we remained friends. Do you find this acceptable, Amaterasu?" he asked her.

Amaterasu nodded and despite the fact that he tried to pull away, Xemnas was caught up in a hug. A tight one at that. Despite her small size, Amaterasu was quite strong. Releasing Xemnas, Amaterasu stepped back and smiled at him once again. Xemnas nodded his head and opened a Dark Corridor himself and walked through it. There was a scoff from behind Amaterasu, and she turned around to see Saix staring at her with annoyed yellow eyes.

"Saix?" she asked timidly.

"I don't understand why everyone has to act so friendly to you. We all have no hearts with which to act friendly or to share with one another or to love with. It's utterly absurd, and I don't see why they do it. You are not worth the time. The only reason that I put up with you on the missions is because Xemnas orders me to.

Other than that, I merely just put up with you because I have to. I don't know why you actually think that I would want to share your heart with you." he hissed then turned and walked down the Alters steps and into the Castle.

Amaterasu's blood practically froze in her veins at his words. She gave the man her friendship and when she had tried to offer him her heart, he threw it back in her face with a harshness she had never seen before. Dropping to her knees, she lowered her head and tears began to streak down her face and sobs started to wrack her small frame.

"He doesn't deserve you, you understand that now, right?" a voice whispered in her ear.

Amaterasu's head lifted and turned to see Zexion behind her. Pulling away from him, she found him to be kneeling behind her and she turned and almost collapsed into his arms.

"W-why, why did he...I never...I don't understand..." she sobbed out.

Pulling her against him, Zexion held her gently.

"He knows nothing, and that's all there is to it. He is a fool and he has always been one, and he will always be one. He had a chance to have something so wonderful and beautiful and he has passed it up. I will never let him harm you again. And if he does, he will face my illusions." he whispered to her.

A smile broke on Amaterasu's face despite the tears in her eyes.

"And that is something that no one wants to face, is it?" she laughed.

"Exactly." he replied, "Now let's go. I wish to have you all to myself."

Amaterasu's head shot up and she looked at him with happiness.

"That doesn't mean what I think it means, does it?" she asked, a small smirk gracing her features.

Even though Amaterasu didn't think it was possible, a blush made it's way onto Zexion's face. Oh yes, if he wasn't cute before, he definitely was now.

"N-no, I didn't m-mean that..." he began to stutter.

Real laughter began to come from Amaterasu as her body shook from the effort to laugh.

"I'm just kidding Zexion. I just wanted to stop being sad. I don't want to cry or be sad around here, especially if I have you to be happy with." she laughed.

Zexion stood and pulled Amaterasu with him. Zexion opened a Corridor and pulled off his coat. Slinging it around her shoulders, he pushed Amaterasu into the Dark Corridor and through it. Amaterasu had made to pull away from the Corridor but before she knew it she was through it and in Zexion's room. Stumbling a few steps, Amaterasu turned and glared at Zexion.

"Ya know, that wasn't nice. I'm not of the Darkness nor do I like those Corridors that you guys use." she hissed at him.

A smirk settled itself onto his face.

"How else was I supposed to get you to my room without having to walk all the way through the Castle. I don't enjoy walking all that distance." he told her.

A smile spread itself across Amaterasu's face. Though she did hate the Corridors of Darkness, she had to admit, taking the long way around was a pain, so she would forgive him. Turning away from him, she looked around the room. Bookshelves filled three walls of Zexion's room with a door in one of them which most likely led to a small bathroom, and the other door which led outside of the room. The last wall held his bed and a dresser and a amour which was most likely filled with his clothes.

Amaterasu walked over to the bookshelves and began browsing what books Zexion had.

"What topic interests you the most?" he asked her.

Amaterasu "hmm"ed to herself.

"Not really sure. I read a lot of things. I've read a lot of science-fiction, a little adventure here and there, some humor just for fun, some romance just for the variety, and a few other things. But if I had to pick one, I'd have to say...hmm...I'd say the adventure was the most fun, so that would be the one I enjoy. You know for the new things that you can find in it." she replied.

Zexion walked over to her and took her arm in his. Gently leading her over to a different section of the bookcase, he swept his arm out.

"Then enjoy all you like. This entire section is adventure. Pick one and read to your hearts content if you desire." he whispered to her.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with happiness.

Zexion just nodded his head. Amaterasu just hugged him in pure joy then began to scour the books for one she thought she might enjoy. Finally finding one she thought was good, she pulled it out and made for Zexion's bed, Zexion trailing behind her. Kicking off her shoes, Amaterasu jumped up onto the bed and settled back against the pillows, getting ready to enjoy a good read, but Zexion stopped her. Sliding in the bed as well, he slipped behind her and pulled her back against his chest so he could enjoy the book as well.

Amaterasu looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, then opened the book and began to read. The two of them began to read together and enjoyed the book for the rest of the night.


	2. A Terrifying Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaterasu has a terrifying dream. Could it possibly be a prophecy about what will happen in the future. Or is it her mind just playing tricks on her. Trying to scare her away from Zexion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay kind of cliché. Girl meets guy. Girl gets guy. Girl has bad dream. Girl can't decide what to do because of dream right? Well in the end it will all lead up to a pretty awesome ending. Well that is at chapter 8. Which chapter 8 is written out. Chapter 3 is written out and published on a different site, soon to be on this one. (chapter 8 is currently sitting on a flash drive in my room.) Chapter 4 is currently in the works and I'm (personally) hoping that it is almost done. Chapter 5-7 is planned out (basically outlined, I know what I want to happen in them) I just have to flesh them out entirely in my word processor then I will be posting their happy little hind ends on here. So you'll have to give me time on those. Chapter 4-7 in this story are not my priority at the moment. Getting all of my stories transferred is. And my story "Goddess Gift" (which happens to be my most popular one on the other site it is posted on...though it is posted on this one as well, but only one chapter so far) has either 15 or 16 chapters and that one each of its chapters are quite long and will take a bit to get each chapter posted. Not to mention I have a few others along with "Goddess Gift" that I will be removing from the other site as well. FanFiction.net has really lost my interest as a place to post my works. It's a fantastic place to go read things. But as for posting things you have to take far too many steps. And depending on what it takes to post on Lunaescence.com you might be able to find me there too under the name DantesgirlfriendDMC5 I'm also posting a few of my things on a place called DeviantArt which you can find me there under Rixe-Rhapsodos You'll also find a few pictures I made and a few other nic knacks I hand made on Deviant. If you ever want some of those nic knacks shook me a line where ever on any of my sites. Although I do ask you not to spam me. I'm not on my Accounts very often as I do a lot of gaming.

_Previously:_

_Zexion just nodded his head. Amaterasu just hugged him in pure joy then began to scour the books for one she thought she might enjoy. Finally finding one she thought was good, she pulled it out and made for Zexion's bed, Zexion trailing behind her. Kicking off her shoes, Amaterasu jumped up onto the bed and settled back against the pillows getting ready to enjoy a god read, but Zexion stopped her. Sliding on the bed as well, he slipped behind her and pulled her back against his chest so he could enjoy the book as well._

_Amaterasu looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, then opened the book and began to read. The two of them began to read together and enjoyed the book for the rest of the night._

* * *

Chapter 2

_Heartless...there were so many Heartless, as far as the eye could see swarming the area that the Organization had been working in The World That Never Was that evening to collect hearts. Already, most of the Organization member's had been quickly decimated by the Heartless and had to pull back to regroup and make a second attack. Both Zexion and Amaterasu were trying their best to defend the Organization but as time passed, it was apparent to both Zexion and Amaterasu that this was a battle they were quickly losing. Amaterasu grunted loudly as a Heartless clawed at her side, pieces of her clothing, the coat she had been given by the Organization, and flesh being torn off her body. The gruesome sound of flesh being ripped echoed loudly in her ears._

_Amaterasu let out a loud cry as she brought down her sword Cosmos hard on the offending Heartless, killing that one and three others with the resounding shockwave that followed the movement. She cursed as she fell to her knees. Her breathing was shallow yet rapid and her head began to spin. She realized fast she had lost too much blood. Looking up too quickly reminded her of just how dizzy she was._

_Even so, she was barely able to see. The blood from a blow to the head was leaking over her eyes and blinding her vision. From within a crowd of Heartless she was able to make out her Beloved fighting vigorously. Her Beloved Zexion was struggling, fighting desperately._

_"Damn it..."_

_Amaterasu was dead tired, she was damn frustrated; she was fucking angry. But she had to continue fighting. She had to continue fighting for her Beloved._

_"Get outta my way!" she shouted as she shot to her feet out of sheer will and swung Cosmos once more._

* * *

_Amaterasu didn't know how much longer she had fought. It could've been hours or seconds for all she knew. But her body was just unable to take anymore. Her legs shook with every step she did manage to take, her vision was blurred severely, one arm was already useless to her and her entire leather coat was shredded and what was left was heavily drenched in blood._

**_"No..."_ ** _she thought to herself, **"I...I gotta go on. I can't stop. I gotta protect...my Beloved. I have to protect Zexion."**_

_A Heartless roared as it jumped at Amaterasu. She moved to dodged it but was too slow. The Heartless' claws caught her wounded shoulder and pinned her to a broken wall. With a vertical slash, she easily rid herself of the Heartless, but that was all her body allowed her._

**_"I can't believe this...It can't be_ ** _**real..."**_

_Amaterasu's legs finally gave in. She leaned her entire frame against the crumbled wall and slid down, leaving a heavy trail of her blood on the surface. She breathed hard, her lungs felt like paper bags as she tried to steady her breathing. Her black hair, sticky from blood and dirt, stuck to her face, the hair tie had snapped and released the midnight locks well into the battle. Her head felt like it was ready to rip in two and the only sound she could hear echoing in her ear was the fierce and rapid drumming of her heart._

_The pains from fatal wounds she had earned were overwhelming and left her feeling numb._

**_"This...this ain't it...it can't be it! It's can't end like this! II won't let it!"_ **

**_"AMATERASU!"_ **

_Ocean blue eyes went wide as a gasp escaped blood stained lips. Above Amaterasu was Zexion, shielding her from an attack. Blood rained onto Amaterasu face from three claws that stabbed through Zexion's chest. The Heartless yanked out its claws and Zexion slowly fell on top of Amaterasu._

**_"Zexion!_ ** _**ZEXION!"** Amaterasu cried as tears quickly formed in her eyes._

_The Heartless roared and Amaterasu looked up to see it ready to strike again until..._

* * *

Amaterasu's eyes flew open and the book she had been holding the night before dropped from her hands. She looked around herself quickly and realized that she was not on a bloody battle field, not fighting for her life and not fighting to save Zexion, that Zexion had not been hurt or stabbed by the Heartless. She turned slightly to look over her shoulder and saw that Zexion was asleep, his head tilted back against the headboard of his bead, slightly turned to the side. A smile tilted the corners of Amaterasu's lips as she looked back at him. Looking back out at the room in front of her, she sighed lightly, but then her breath caught in her throat.

Little shadows were starting to move around on the floor around Zexion's bed. Jerking this way and that, they surrounded the bed and began to make their way closer and closer. Slowly rising out of the floor, their beady yellow eyes stared up at Amaterasu, almost daring her to make some sort of noise and wake Zexion. Her eyes wide with fear, Amaterasu nudged Zexion behind her, but he didn't move. Nudging him a bit harder she whispered his name over her shoulder, too afraid to raise her voice any louder for fear of enticing the shadows to come closer to the bed.

Zexion still didn't move. Amaterasu decided that she would have to take action herself. Calling up the abilities inside herself, she created a large, black fireball in her hand. She thought that might deter them a little, seeing as black fire was not a common thing, but it didn't seem to do anything except make them start to chitter and shake their bodies. Hoping that the room she was in could withstand the fire that she was about to release and that she would be able to protect Zexion from the fire as well, she drew her arm back and launched the fireball at the shadows.

The fire hit the ground and spread out in a wave of flame fanning out from around the bed. Every shadow that it touched burned with a dark light. Though Amaterasu was satisfied with the effect that her fire had on the shadows, she was surprised on how the fire had reacted. It wasn't supposed to just creep across the floor. It should have blossomed all through out the room.

Almost as though it was going to envelop the whole room in a ball of fire. If she was thinking right, something was blocking her powers, though she didn't know what it could be. There were few things that could do that.

"-su!" a very distant voice called out.

Amaterasu's head snapped around, looking in every direction, trying to find out where the voice had come from.

"-terasu!" the voice called again, "Amaterasu!"

Whoever the person was, they were calling out for her. Amaterasu looked all around her but she couldn't see anyone. In fact, even Zexion was gone. The bed she had been sitting on was gone too. Everything was gone, Zexion, the bed, the room, the Shadows, everything. She was in pure and utter darkness. Amaterasu turned in circles trying to find any source of light, but she couldn't find a single ray of it.

"Amaterasu!" the voice yelled again.

Quite suddenly, Amaterasu recognized the voice. It was Zexion's.

"Zexion! Where are you?" she yelled.

"Amaterasu, wake up! Please Amaterasu!" Zexion called again.

"What are you talking about Zexion? I am awake! Where are you?" Amaterasu started running forward through the darkness, even though she knew that was dangerous.

She could be running away from the only place that she could be saved from. She could be running farther and farther away from safety.

"Zexion, I can't find you, please help me!" she yelled, stopping in her running momentarily.

"Amaterasu, call off your black fire. I can't get near you! Every time I try, it tries to burn me, Amaterasu can you hear me?" Zexion's voice called out again.

Amaterasu spun in a circle trying to figure out where Zexion was. Her vision was starting to go dark, and that was never a good thing for her. She lost control of her powers when she blacked out. And if Zexion was nearby when she lost control of her powers...there was a possibility she could kill him. Despite the fact that he was a Nobody, Nobodies were still able to die.

Amaterasu felt her energy draining from her body and she fell to her knees. Putting a hand to her head, she concentrated on trying to stay awake. She couldn't lose control of her fire, she couldn't hurt Zexion. But despite her best effort, her vision blacked out and she fell to the ground unconscious. When Amaterasu opened her eyes again, she found herself looking up at a dark-blue ceiling.

A deep breath was pulled into her lungs and she sat up abruptly. Almost instantly, Zexion was by her side with a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down onto the bed she was laying on.

"Take it easy, Amaterasu. For some reason, your powers flared out of control. Your body needs to rest for a little bit. Don't worry, nothing happened to me, I'm fine." he said leaning over her as she finally fell back against the bed.

Amaterasu stared up at him as she was able to look up into his eyes. The stark aqua-blue always entranced, and she loved the color. It suited him well. Before Zexion could pull away from her, Amaterasu shot her hand up into slate-blue hair that complimented Zexion's eyes and pulled him down into a fierce, desperate kiss. Zexion gave a surprised noise as he was pulled down, but once he settled into the kiss, his eyes slipped shut and he melted into it.

Amaterasu's lips were soft and pliant but her kiss was still firm. After a few seconds, she allowed Zexion to pull away just enough to draw in air, but wouldn't let him go.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered.

"For what? The kiss? If you're sorry for that, then I'd have too be sorry for wanting it." Zexion blushed a little as he replied to her.

A smile graced Amaterasu's face. Then she shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry about my fire. I didn't even realize..." she cur herself off as she looked away.

"You didn't realize what?" Zexion pressed, turning her face back so she would look at him.

I...I had...a nightmare. There was so much blood. So much blood all over. The other Organization members...they were all dead or dieing. The Heartless...they were going to kill us too.

I was so tired, almost ready to give up fighting...I was so injured that it hurt so badly to move, to even just breath...Then the darkness. Everything was dark. No light anywhere. I could see, but there was nothing there. Nothing around me.

Then I heard your voice, but I couldn't see you. Then you told me to stop using my fire, but I wasn't using it. Then my vision started to go dark. I was so afraid. When I pass out, sometimes my powers go out of control.

I was afraid that my powers were going to hurt you. I was afraid they were going to kill you." Amaterasu began to sob.

Zexion pulled Amaterasu up the bed and into his arms. Turning he sat on the edge of the bed and cradled her in his arms.

"Your powers won't harm me, Amaterasu. Remember? I've gotten in the way of them before by accident and they didn't harm me. You don't have to worry about that. And you don't have to worry about the Organization.

There is nothing that can overcome our power. Nothing will stand in the way of our goal. Once we regain our hearts, we will be whole again, and I will be able to properly return the love that you give to me now." he reassured her softly.

Zexion slid his hand up her back and into her midnight black hair. The soft, silky strands ran through his fingers easily and he tightened his hold in them. Pulling back on the tresses, Zexion forced Amaterasu's head back. He stared into her eyes as she laid In his lap. Amaterasu smiled up at him.

Letting go of Amaterasu's hair, he gently slid her off his lap and let her feet land on the ground.

"Xemnas has planned an outing for all of us today. We need to change our clothes and meet the rest of the Organization down in the Grey Room. If you will give me a chance to change I will take you to your room so you can change as well." he said gently, walking over to his closet, opening it and pulling out a few articles of clothing.

He closed the closet and walked to what Amaterasu thought would be his bathroom and disappeared inside. She didn't have to wait long before he reappeared, dressed in his Organization coat with a few more layers obviously underneath it. Zexion held his hand out for Amaterasu to take and she did so without hesitation. He opened a Dark Corridor and started to walk towards it, but Amaterasu jerked her hand out of his and stayed put. Zexion looked back at her and Amaterasu shook her head.

"You don't have to worry. Nothing in there will touch you so long as you are with me. The Darkness does not rule so long as you are with me." he assured her.

Amaterasu gave the Corridor another wary glance, but then she walked t Zexion and took his hand in hers. Together they walked into the Dark Corridor. Darkness took over Amaterasu's sight momentarily, but within seconds it returned and they were now in her room. Amaterasu looked over as Zexion walked out of her room. She nodded to herself and she walked over to the dresser that held her clothes and started pulling clothes out.

She didn't have very many warm things, because she didn't leave the Castle very often and she didn't have much of a chance to bring things along with her when she left her original home. Pulling out a couple of shirts, she pulled off the shirt she wore yesterday and pulled on those. They were long-sleeved and heavy. They had been standard issue for people in the military faction she had worked for. They weren't the most comfortable things in the world, but they did keep you warm.

she then pulled out a pair of warm pants that were also standard issue for the cold from the military faction. She hated the memories that they brought back, but she wasn't going to get rid of them. They were too useful. Bad memories were easily forgotten, good clothes lasted forever. Well, until they wore out at least.

She pulled them on then walked over to the bed that she usually slept in. Reaching under it, she pulled out a pair of military grade boots. They were warm and durable. However, though they were military grade and durable, they were also fashionable. They weren't big and bulky, they were slim and refined.

More along the lines of what a woman would wear if she was going out on a date. There was a low heel to them and they were slightly pointed at the toe. Pulling them on, she secured the buckles that held them together, making sure her pants were neatly tucked into them. dubbing herself ready, she walked to her door and opened it. Zexion was waiting for her outside her room and he took her hand and opened another Corridor.

They walked through it and they were both in the Gray Room. The other Organization members were standing there waiting for them. Amaterasu looked around the room at the other members, but she wasn't able to for long. Zexion pulled her up in front of Xemnas and left her standing there alone. Amaterasu turned to see where he had left to, but Xemnas caught her attention with his voice.

"Amaterasu, you have been with us for a while now, and a number of us consider you to be one of us. Though you are not a part of the Organization and will not hold a title like those of us, we want you to have one of these for your protection." he said with...was that an air of pride in his voice.

He pulled a black bundle out from underneath his arm and shook it out. At first, Amaterasu couldn't tell what it was, but once it had fully unfurled itself she figured out what it was. Black leather had cascaded down to form a full Organization coat. Amaterasu's eyes widened. They were going to let her wear an Organization coat?

Zexion made an annoyed noise when Amaterasu made no move towards the coat, and took it himself from Xemnas then walked to Amaterasu. Sliding it up her arms, he fitted the coat over her shoulders, then turned her around and zipped the front up. Amaterasu looked down at herself as she lifted up her arms. The coat was comfortable and a nice fit. Amaterasu looked up at Xemnas and smiled at him.

"Thanks..." she said softly, "Are we ready to go?"

Xemnas nodded and turned to the rest of the Organization.

"The world that we are going to will remain unknown. If I find that anyone has re-located the world after this and has tried to do anything to it, there will be dire consequences." he called out.

Waving his hand in front of him, a Dark Corridor opened and the rest of the Organization followed with Amaterasu in tow. As the darkness of the Corridor receded, Amaterasu found herself in a winter wonderland full of snow and ice. She gave a few twirls as the snow fell and snowflakes stuck in her hair. Smiling to herself, she leaned down as no one was watching and scooped up a handful of snow and packed it into a snowball. Pulling her arm back, she singled out her target and aimed.

She knew she might not come out of this stunt alive or at least unscathed in some manner or another, but she did have Zexion to protect her if things got _too_ violent...well at least she _hoped_ she did. Letting her snow ball fly, she quickly ducked behind a tree before it hit. Then she heard her snow missile hit with a soft _**thwack**_. Peeking around the tree she had hidden behind, Amaterasu surveyed the fact that she had hit Saix in the back of his head, just as she had been aiming for. He slowly turned around and looked at her.

Surprisingly enough, he didn't look mad at her.

"So that's what you want, is it, Amaterasu?" he asked softly, an evil smile creeping its way onto his face.

 _'Oh shit! Screw Zexion, Minerva help me!'_ Amaterasu mentally shrieked as she took off away from Saix.

A mad laugh followed her as Saix pursued her, and tackled her to the snow covered ground.

"Don't kill me!" she shrieked aloud, and she tried to cover herself.

However Saix was not out to kill, hew merely scooped up a huge pile of snow and dumped it on Amaterasu's head. With a loud screech, she began to shake it away. Suddenly, Saix was tackled off of Amaterasu. She sat up and looked over at the one who had tackled Saix.

"Don't worry, Amaterasu! I'll save you from Moon Man here! Got it Memorized!" Axel smirked.

Then instantly the whole clearing that the Organization was in erupted into an all out snow fight. Whether it was a snowball that flew, or whether it was being tackled into the snow. Everyone was in on it, even Xemnas. Amaterasu looked around her, surprised that this whole thing was even going on. Then she spotted Zexion, entirely unaware of the fact that she was behind him.

Oh, this was going to be fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks for getting this far through the story. I know it's probably a little sad right now considering I haven't edited this thing since....how old did I say I was when I started writing this. I mentioned it back in the chapter 1 notes. But yeah, I really do need to come back and edit this. But if you have stuck with me this long thank you sooo very much. You really are the best for sticking with shitty writing like this. This was all mainly self-indulgence back when I first wrote it. I had basically just discovered I think it was either COM or the more clearer pictured version of Zexion so I knew what he looked like better and I had just fallen head over heels in love with him and I really didn't know why. So here's to Self-indulgence of wanting something you can never have. XD Fangirls and fanboys all around don't we all know and loathe that feeling...


	3. Poetry Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a poetry Interlude that is included in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will note this chapter is from Zexion's POV. Everything else in this story has been from readers POV and will continue to be until further notice. There is also a reason I picked up this poem and modified parts of it in all four versions of this fic I will be writing. It will be corresponding to the second to last chapter I write in each series. which was hinted at in the dream sequence that Amaterasu had in the last Chapter.

_With Book of Illusions in hand I walk,_

_With my goal in mind I talk._

_With love in my normally empty heart I fight,_

_If just to be with you tonight._

_The night sky is dark,_

_As I take you to the park._

_I will keep you warm this night,_

_For it is for you I fight._

_My dear I love you so,_

_So much more than you could know._

_With this Illusion of Darkness I swear,_

_For you I will always care._

_Do not cry for me if I bleed,_

_Your love is all that I need._

_I am a Nobody and I will fight,_

_If only to be with you for tonight._


	4. A Snow Ball Fight and Expressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we get a little deeper into Amaterasu's and Zexion's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG TT_TT I had like so much more of this typed out and my comp glitched and almost ALL OF IT got deleted!! I was/am so pissed. So I had to re-type it. I tried to get it back how it was, but I know it's way shorter and I know it's nothing like it was. But the big thing is I tried. TT_TT

Taking silent steps through the snow, Amaterasu crept up behind Zexion, finally exulting in the fact she was going to have revenge on him for the time he had once scared her out of her mind with one of his illusions. Once she was right behind him, she leapt onto his back and he went face first into the snow below him. Laughing as she sat on his back, Amaterasu gently ruffled the hair on top of his head then got up off his back and took off away from him, and waited a little ways away to see what he would do. Zexion shoved himself up off the ground, the bangs that usually covered his face covered in snow, his visible eye glaring at her. She smiled cheekily at him and turned around to run again, but was thrown onto her back as a strong body tackled her.

Not knowing what hit her, she cried out terrified that Zexion had called up some kind of illusion to punish her, but then she heard a deep chuckle come from above her. She opened her eyes and noticed silver strands of hair obscuring her view. Pushing the silver strands out of the way, she found herself staring into Xemnas' sunset eyes. They had a mischievous glint in them, something that Amaterasu had never seen in them before. Shoving hard against Xemnas' chest, she managed to switch their position so she was sitting on top of him, straddling his waist.

His hands came up to her hips to steady her as she almost fell over. Her cheeks were red from the cold so he wasn't able to tell that she was blushing from the way that they had ended up. Suddenly Amaterasu was swept up off Xemnas by an invisible force and was hung upside down. She blinked for a few seconds trying to figure out what was going on. Once she did however, the result was not pretty.

“Xigbar, your ass better let me down right now, or so help me, when I do manage to get down I will give you the thrashing of your life, and it will be one that you never forget. Do you hear me, Xigbar? Get me the fuck down! NOW!” she yelled, absolutely incensed that he had resorted to using his powers when all they were doing was having a little snow ball fight.

Xigbar walked into view below her and began to laugh as he watched her.

“What's wrong Ami? Can't do anything while you're up there? Betcha really wanna get me right now, huh?” he asked mocking her.

Amaterasu crossed her arms across her chest and closed her eyes before breathing deeply. Zexion recognized this sign, but in no way was he going to ruin the fun for Amaterasu. She deserved to have revenge for what Xigbar had just done. No one else but he had seen this part of her powers and it would be quite the show to see how everyone else reacted to them. Quite the show indeed.

Moving to the outer reaches of the clearing that they were in so that he wouldn't get caught up in Amaterasu's powers, Zexion leaned up against one of the trees and made sure he had a good view of what was about to happen.

“Final warning Xigbar. Get me the Fuck down. Or you will be really sorry. I am not kidding.” Amaterasu growled lowly, eyes still shut and breathing as calmly as she could.

“Oh really, what are you going to do. You can't even reach me. Your little sword Cosmos can't reach down here. And if you throw it, I know you can't call it back to your hand. So if you throw it, you have no other weapons to use.

SO what are you going to do? Glare at me, call me names, curse at me? You've done all those before and those have gotten you no where.” Xigbar laughed in her face.

“I don't have any other weapons other than Cosmos, do I?” Amaterasu asked, her eyes slowly opening.

Usually her eyes were a calm ocean blue, but now they glowed a bright violet, and the hair that was now dangling below her head slowly turned the same violet as her eyes. Uncrossing her arms, she allowed them to fall towards the ground and slowly black flames began to lick their way down her arms as well as making their way up her body. She flicked one hand at Xigbar and those black flames followed her movements and flew at Xigbar, swirling around him, licking at his body and burning him. Xigbar's concentration on his powers was broken and Amaterasu was released from where she was floating and she managed to flip from being upside down, to landing gracefully on her feet. Standing back up, she raised her hand and the black flames that were surrounding Xigbar left him and flew back to her hand.

Amaterasu lowered her hand back to her side and merely stood there watching as Xigbar stared at her. The black flames she had summoned were swirling around her body, clinging to it like a second skin, however nothing on her body was being burned. She took a few steps toward him raising her hand and he backed away, terrified that she would send the black fire after him again. Suddenly a arm appeared around her waist and another one snaked up her arm. The black fire quickly took to the body that had pressed itself up behind Amaterasu, wrapping that person in a second skin of fire as well.

Zexion pulled Amaterasu's arm down, and the arm around her waist slid up and the hand connected to it turned Amaterasu's face so that he could kiss her. The fire subsided slightly, and Zexion whispered something in Amaterasu ear. Her eyes closed and she relaxed back against him, almost as if she had slipped into a trance.

“It's not intelligent to provoke her Xigbar. Her abilities tend to get out of hand, fortunately for you I know how to placate them. If you will excuse the two of us.” Zexion hissed over Amaterasu's shoulder before backing his way through a Dark Corridor and disappearing completely.

“Um...what was that?” Axel questioned, slightly freaked out.

He was supposed to be the pyro around the Organization.

“You didn't know? She has intriguing abilities with fire! However Superior will not allow me to study them, so I haven't the slightest inkling how they work, only that they are highly deadly. And, as Zexion said, he is the only one that can tame them when they are beginning to go out of control. From what I have observed from outside though, a lot of her flammable abilities are controlled by her anger and fear, and that is also when they are at their strongest.” replied Vexen, the eagerness in his voice almost sickening.

“IV...” Xemnas bit out in a warning.

Vexen cringed.

“”Forgive me, Superior. I just find her abilities so fascinating.” he apologized, swearing in the back of his mind to one day figure out how they worked.

* * *

In a Cave not too far away, a Dark Corridor opened and Zexion slid out of it. Slowly sliding back against the wall of the cave, he let out a deep breath. That was far too close of a call for his taste. Gently gliding his hand away from covering Amaterasu's eyes, he whispered a sweet incantation in her ear to wake her from the trance he had put her in. She wasn't going to be happy that he had done so, but it had been a necessary evil.

As soon as she awoke, the black fire flared to life around the two of them once again.

“I swear to the heavens above Xigbar I'm gonna....What? Where is he?” she growled, spinning in a circle looking for the afore mentioned man.

When all she found was the cave around her and Zexion behind her, she quickly put two and two together.

“ _Zexion!”_ she all but screeched at him, _“Why did you put me under and take me away!?”_

Zexion knew it would be better to let Amaterasu's anger to burn away and recede on its own rather than to try and reason with her at the moment to he remained silent.

“ _Zexion...I'm waiting.”_ she hissed, tapping her foot with her hands on her hips.

Zexion noticed the tapping echoing through the cave. Tapping foot meant very high agitation for Amaterasu, and it meant that it would be better to answer.

“You killing Xigbar wouldn't have been a good idea. Though Xemnas was standing right there when things happened, I don't think he would have condoned you killing him for what he did.” Zexion replied, holding his hands up to try and placate Amaterasu.

She scoffed and turned away, walking to the mouth of the cave.

“I wouldn't have killed him. I had perfect control over my fire back there.” she hissed over her shoulder.

“It didn't look like it to me,” Zexion whispered, sidling up behind her and loosely wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Yeah well that was from your point of view.” Amaterasu's voice was just a small huff of air now as her hands rose to sit over Zexion's arms, “You're a brat you know that, right? Knocking me out with that spell. I mean shit, you could have just played distraction. _'Hey, look over there, what's that? Distraction!'_

Yoinked me through the Corridor and I wouldn't have even been able to put up a fight. You're damn quick on the battle field due to your ability to use illusions. I wouldn't have had a chance. There and gone in a second.”

A sigh passed Amaterasu's lips.

“I used to be damned fast on the battle field too...till a bunch of shit happened and things went way, way south. I lost so many people. I lost so many friends. I almost gave up the will to fight on the battle field any more. Almost decided just to hand up my sword and call it a fuckin day....” her voice was wistful as she watched the sun starting to set.

“Would you be willing to tell me more about it?” Zexion asked gently nudging his nose against the nape of her neck and inhaling deeply.

He knew that a persons past could cut deep and sometimes they preferred to keep it hidden.

“If you're willing to put up with a ritual my brother and I used to do all the time.” she giggled.

Zexion tilted his head. He had no idea what he was getting into, but it could be worth it.

“Deal.” he replied.

“Then open a Corridor back to the Castle kitchen and lets blow this icicle stand.” Amaterasu laughed, turning around and taking Zexion's hand.

Zexion gave a small smile, opened the corridor, and the two slipped through, headed back for the Castle and for whatever ritual Amaterasu was going to do.


End file.
